08 July 2010

How does one let go? 
How do you say to the one you love....
“I will give way. Im bowing out.” 
When the mere thought conjures a fear so overwhelming that it takes away all that gives meaning to life
How do you let go of a feeling that celebrates a life shared together?
And so I wept
Every tear that I shed was an act of my ultimate sacrifice, the final act of love
Every waking day is a never ending cycle of anguish and resignation
When even in the silence of the night, I am haunted with images of what was and what could have been
How do you release my battered soul from the upheaveals of anger and love
I felt every thud and bang that I was made to suffer
But all these I go through, if only to prove a point
That I will not turn our short lived affair to anything less than noble, pure and life giving
Despite the incredulities, despite the flaws and against the tide of prudence, 
I wagered my life when I said yes to you
Then suddenly, I am alone once more
Pain has given way to despair, loneliness to desolation
And in the struggle between my heart and my wit, I began to ask questions
Why me when my only mistake was to fall for you
Did you really love me? Who was I to you?
You may have answers but I doubt if these can put my heart at peace
To provide a closure that will bring relief to all these pain
Restore back my ability to love
Move on with life
So once again, I’m one solitary figure on a lonely road
I will travel alone.. once more… all over again
And as I take the first steps, I will take stock of my memories
Carefully sifting through the trials and tribulations of life
Weeping as I revisit the most painful episodes, taking refuge in sweet memories
But in all these, you will always linger on
There will be new faces, new chapters
But you will always abide in me
I too have decided never to forget
I will love you from afar for indeed, I was never meant to be a part of you.....

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